Blue funk with yellow

My forsythia is in bloom, along with one daffodil, and the four yellow crocus that got moved from my back garden to the front parkway and somehow haven’t yet wilted. Today’s garden is all yellow.

I can’t extract any hidden meaning from that, just a coincidence. And while I try to plan variety into my garden, it’s just a fact that an abundance of spring blooms are yellow. “Why that is” is a rabbit hole I might slide down in a minute or two, but for now I’m content to enjoy these scattered bits of color and the insistent calling of a robin to my left and a cardinal to my right as I sit on my front porch.

It’s only about 40 degrees F, and there’s not much world passing by right now—an occasional walker or bicyclist, sometimes a car at the intersection a block away. The neighborhood isn’t just social distancing today; it’s mostly huddled inside trying to stay warm. I did that this morning and found myself headed toward a blue funk, so we grabbed the dog leashes and got outside. Pups exhausted, we now sit quietly on the porch, reviving our spirits and lungs with fresh air.

Yesterday was warm enough (low 60s?) to open up the windows and let fresh air into the house, which is a spring treat. I often crack open a bedroom window at night even in early and late winter, but being able to open the windows wide and let in a breeze is a blessing after a long winter—perhaps even more so now that I’m working from home and don’t get as much fresh air in the morning and afternoon.

These are all small condolences, of course, and I would trade them all—the enjoyment of them, anyway—to have this horrible disease go away and know that my loved ones and I and total strangers the world over could feel safe. I’m seeking out this calm moment because inside I’m a roiling mess of anxiety, and I know that I’m one of the lucky ones. Able to work from home, with the company and care of a spouse I love, I owe my comfort and safety to those who’re going out into the world and facing this menace on my behalf. They include family, friends, and strangers, and I worry for them and am angry at a government that has done little to protect them.

Hug the ones you love. Pray for everyone. Try to stay safe.

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